04 October 2016

The Hard Days

Do you ever have those days where you feel like you're drowning then someone throws you three kids?....and those three kids are all sick...oh and you are deathly ill yourself...no? Just me? Well today was one of those days. Those really hard days that show up every once in a while and make you question everything you know about being a parent and how you handle life in general. Those days where you are surrounded by people but yet you still feel so alone. 

The loneliness kicks in at 3 am when you're up for the 10th time with your sick 2 year old. When you are nursing your newborn baby again at 4am while you're husband sleeps peacefully next to you. When you spend an entire night making your rounds from one kid to another each needing something different. When you feel the walls closing in on day 3 of all sick kids and you haven't left the house in who knows how long. When you're at your wits end and your husband calls to say he's working late again. When you feel like all you do is change diapers, wipe noses, break up fights, make snacks, change clothes, watch cartoons and play candy land for the millionth time in one day. Are there any adults out there?!

Motherhood is hard. But it's not suppose to be easy. After all, tiny little humans rely solely on you to care for them and shape them into decent human beings. There's nothing easy about that, which is why it's labeled the hardest job in the world. And those days, those really hard days that pop up every so often, are good. At the time it doesn't feel that way at all. It feels like you're drowning and just keeping your head above water seems impossible. But if the hard days never came, you wouldn't be reminded about all the good days. The days where you get all three kids ready and out of the house on time and felt like a freaking rock star.  The days where your little boy rides his bike for the first time. When you all play candy land and your 2 year old wins and thinks it's the best day ever. When your 4 year old makes something very special just for you at school. The hugs you get when they've missed you. When your baby smiles at you for the first time. When they say please and thank you and you realize maybe you aren't messing this up. The days where you just sit back and stare at your life thinking how did I get to be so blessed. Those kisses, hugs and little giggles are all small reminders that even though our job is hard - impossible at times, it is so worth it. 
So when your very hard day is coming to an end take a deep breath and hold those sleeping babies tight. Because tomorrow is a new day and it's going to be a good one. 

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